Trees that grow out of caves and gay waiters dressed in Burkas, all in a typical day on Easter Island

This tree is amazing. We came across the roots and trunk way below the surface in a cave.




Big arn't they?



It was probably just as well it rained all the time. We never would have left the beaches otherwise.



How cool are these guys?



Laughing Moai

14th November 2004 - Easter Island

It's real name is Rapa Nui - just about the only research fact the Kevin Costner got right when he made that awful film of the same name. Costner you are crap. Give it up.

After paying $15 to watch the film we went to the only restaurant that remained open. There we had the worst meal we've had so far. It was so bad I can't even tell you what it was. It was indistinguishable and totally inedible. Whatever it was had some sort of super sweet BBQ sauce all over it. I should have known when I heard a massive crash and saw the chef walk out and slam the door. The next thing we saw was a gay waiter wearing a burka looking really flustered. Told you they were bloody wierd.

Sorry, Chile, but the people are Polynesian no matter how much you try to rewrite the history books to say that the first settlers arrived from South America. (Although after the fish incident I can't actually see why you to try to claim them as kin, they are all sparko). You don't need to be an expert to work it out, you just need to look at the people. They do not look remotely South American. And woe betide if you even mention them in the same sentence as Chile! They are fiercely nationalistic. Alcohol plays a very large part of life here and once the younger locals get a few down them, they become very bitter about their ‘parent nation’. There is even an office run by an independence movement where you can get a free Rapa Nui stamp in your passport.

Official tourist board literature proposes that the people who built the Moai originally came from Peru. This is because there is some similarity between Rapa Nui and Inca stonework. One of the sets of Moai close to the airport is set on a wall that looks exactly like the Inca walls in Cuzco. There have been other suggestions that the Island is what’s left of a lost continent or was even built by aliens. Was ET into fish brains? No, I’m sure he wasn’t. I guess it is possible that those locals were trying to re-create the ‘our forefathers have just arrived’ look by smearing blood all over themselves (….think about it). According to the locals it was discovered by the Polynesians in about 400AD. They built the Moai in the form of their leaders. They also formed the ‘Rongorongo’ - the only written language in Oceania.

It’s said that once the population peaked at about 10,000, resources became scarce, especially since all the trees on the island were being used to move the Moai from the quarry to the beaches, so a once peaceful society began to decline into civil war and, apparently, cannibalism – which I can only assume is the real reason those locals were smearing blood all over themselves. Reminiscing the times when visitors never knew they existed. I told you they were overly friendly didn’t I?!!?
Eventually, all of the Moai standing along the coast were torn down by the islanders. Many of them still remain face down in the ground. Those that are standing again have been put back up by archaeologists.

The fact that this island is more than 2,000 miles from any other population, (Tahiti and Chile being the closest), doesn’t help clarify the history books. It’s one of the most isolated places on Earth. The island itself is in the form of a triangle. It’s made of volcanic rock and has a volcano on each corner. Apparently the early settlers called it "Te Pito O Te Henua" – which means Navel of The World. There is a spot you can go to which is supposed to mark it. We, of course, had lots of fun sticking our fingers in the World’s belly button – and not even a whiff of fluff – I promise.


Despite the rain ..and more rain...oh, and look...more rain, we’ve managed to explore the whole island. They have some amazing caves to wonder into as well as the fabulous Moai. I can't quite put my finger on what it is about them that is so cool, they just are. The fact is, that no-one really knows why they were really built and why so many of them were knocked down again. All I know for sure is that I am writing this journal from one of the remotest, coolest places on this planet. I feel so privileged to be here. I just hope our hotel owner doesn’t try to cook us for tea – she seems to have taken a bit of a shine to Tim!